He Who Hath Breached No-Man’s Land Four Times

For the record, the staff keeps telling me that the Border doesn't look anything like this.

Another day, another Illegal Alien driving drunk with a child in the car.

Of course, Manuel Borja-Vega, the Illegal in question, is more than just a farm-league Drunk Driver endangering a minor. Manuel has an impressive police record, having racked up convictions for drunk driving (4 previous times!), making terroristic threats, unlawfully carrying a weapon, evading arrest, assault and transporting Illegal Aliens.

Oh, and did I mention he’s been deported 3 times already? (How do these people keep getting through the lines of troops and tanks and razor-wire fences on our border?)

Congratulations, Manuel Borja-Vega (a/k/a Carlos Ortega, a/k/a Miguel Gomez-Boria, a/k/a Bertin Aveja-Granados, a/k/a Samuel Vega, a/k/a Andres M. Orrostieta, a/k/a Mauel Borja-Vega, a/k/a Nau Berduzco-Pena, a/k/a Navor Reynosa-Vega)… you’re our Illegal Alien of the Day! Oh, and please tell me you at least let the little kid get drunk too… it can be scary for wee ones to be driven around by intoxicated people if they themselves haven’t imbibed a bit.

3-time deported Mexican national sentenced to 11 years in prison

SportCentre DUI – Nun Better

Even those closely following the Official Sport of Illegals may have overlooked rookie Drunk Driver Carlos A. Martinelly Montano. At age 23, with only 2 prior DUI convictions and no felonies, Carlos didn’t seem a particularly strong contender. Even ICE, to whom he had been turned over twice, didn’t see fit to waste their time deporting him. But this week Señor Montano sped out of nowhere to take the lead after some swerving, some careening… and some killing a nun!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what this sport is all about! It simply does not get more thrilling than this! With 2 assists from ICE — and one from God — this longshot has rocketed into pole position by squishing/killing one nun and severely injuring two more! Wowee!

Carlos A. Martinelly Montano, you’re our Illegal Alien of the Day! From all of us here at SportCentre DUI, thank you and congratulations! Or, as Marv Albert would say, “yes!”

Oh, and ICE… way to go! Carlos couldn’t have done it without you!

Man charged in fatal crash was being deported

Illegal immigrant who killed nun in accident was released by feds

SportCentre DUI – Update

Welcome back to SportCentre DUI! As the summer really heats up, so does the Official Sport of Illegals: Drunk Driving!

It’s time to start making your bracket picks for the playoffs! Here are some early contenders…

Jose de Jesus Acosta Rivas moves up in the rankings after a career-best arrest for DUI with a 9-year-old child in the car!

El Salvadoran Illegal Jose Joe Velasco had a blood-alcohol level 4 times over the limit when he earned DWI #4 after he led police on a hi-larious car chase which ended only when he crashed, sustaining injuries! What a pro!

But leading the pack this week is Freddy Cortez Flores, who — with a blood-alcohol level of only .09 — lost control of his car, hit a wall, then dragged his partially-ejected passenger 567 feet, thus grinding him to his death!

The world of sport doesn’t get any more exciting than this, does it? (No! It doesn’t!)

So who’s today’s honoree? You folks sort it out. Pick one…

Add This Guy To Your Fantasy League

"I could have been a contender."

Like many sports figures, Miguel Romero Barajas has had his run-ins with Johnny Law. For most players, these encounters are off the field. For Miguel the police are interfering with the game itself: Drunk Driving – the Official Sport of Illegal Aliens!

Yes, today’s Illegal Alien is another up-and-coming powerhouse in the DUI world! While he’s not as yet managed to cause fatalities, he has been very effective at hit-and-run, and has racked up 4 Drunk Driving convictions in less than a decade! Lucky for North Carolina he wasn’t deported, or they’d have lost a star player with serious homicidal potential. And now that Miguel is behind bars, it could really hurt them in the playoffs… worse yet, they may actually deport him this time, completely depriving NC of his talents (until such time as he sneaks back over the border, anyway).

Hola and congratulations Señor Barajas! Hope to see you intoxicated and back on the “asphalt field” soon! Your fans are waiting!

Illegal alien, habitual DUI offender arrested after crash

Mistakes Were Made (And So Were Tacos)

Now he can open an American restaurant in Mexico

Ramon Ornelas was a hard-working, successful businessman, owning and operating several Mexican restaurants in northern Ohio. Now, he has been forced to sell all but one of his eateries and faces time in Federal prison and deportation. And what, you may be wondering, has brought him to this lowly state? Two words: red tape.

How was he — a previously-deported Illegal Alien from Mexico — to know that hiring 58 Illegal Aliens was against the law? Or that he needs to withhold Federal Taxes for those employees? Or that sending fraudulent claims to the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services was a no-no? Can a man juggling a family and career be expected to understand every minute aspect of our laws?

Thanks to the government, this upstanding businessman and his entire family will be shipped back to Mexico for these minor violations of arcane rules of American business. Sure, he was warned in 1993, 1995, 1996 and 2001 when he was doing the same thing, but really, who among us remembers every conversation they have with Local, State and Federal law enforcement? It probably just slipped his mind.

“I got into a big problem and learned a lot from it,” said Ornelas through an interpreter. “I think I am a hard working person. This is what my parents taught me.”

Perhaps they also taught him the Official Sport of Illegals — Drunk Driving — for which Ornelas has two convictions?

In any event, Ramon, despite having been caught sneaking into the US on at least two occasions, is listed in the article as being a “lawful permanent resident;” however, since he has committed a “violent felony” he will shortly be losing his resident status. We here at IAotD are humbled by the fact that we will be the first (but not the last) to address Señor Ornelas as an Illegal Alien. And not just any Illegal Alien, but the Illegal Alien of the Day! Congratulations, and gracias, Ramon!

Casa Fiesta owner gets federal prison time

Jail, deportation await owner of eateries

Sort Of Like Princess Di

Either played too much or too little Grand Theft Auto

Roberto Saldivar Perez did not want to get deported again. So, when he saw the “rollers” in his rear-view, he put the pedal to the metal! Screeech! A high-speed chase through the streets of La Joya! Vroom! Running stop signs! Zoom! His sweet Lincoln Town Car roared along at speeds approaching 100 miles an hour, La Policia in hot pursuit! Then he crashed and died. The end.

According to the article, Roberto fled simply because he “had no intention of getting deported again.”

Well lucky you, Señor Perez! There will be no bus ride back to Reynosa this time! Looks like your daring plan worked! And, on top of discovering such a clever way to elude the clutches of ICE, you’re also our Illegal Alien of the Day! Adios, and congratulations, Roberto! Glad you didn’t accidentally take someone with you!

Undocumented immigrant killed when police chase ends with crash

[And how about that title? Interesting choice of words. “Undocumented” and “killed” as opposed to “illegal” and “kills self”. It’s so PC and gentle. You know, it’s just that kind of friendly, helpful attitude that keeps quality Illegals like Roberto coming to the US. Thank you, American journalists!]

Finally, The Recognition He Deserves

"I've waited 6 years for this!"

IAotD Jovany Morales is an MVP in the Illegal Alien sport of DUI. In 2004, he set a career best when he hit and killed a man while driving drunk. Naturally, he was promptly arrested, posted his bond, and then ran like the dickens! For six years, Morales roamed free. (The article says nothing about what he did during these years. One can presume he was doing charity work or tutoring children or the like.) Anyway, he was recently re-arrested, and this time his bond was set a little higher to ensure he’ll be around to get his legal due in a court full of appreciative Americans! No escaping the gratitude of the community this time, Jovany!

Regardless of what prize the jury presents you in court, you’re already a winner here! Congratulations, Señor Morales!

Judge Raises Bond on Previously Missing DWI Suspect

You Can’t Run From This Honor

Drinking and Driving: Official Sport of Illegal Immigrants

Illegal Alien Jorge Dominguez wasn’t about to let a suspended (and illegal) driver’s license stop him from spreading intoxicated cheer via automobile. So he climbed into his car — snookered of course — and began gleefully speeding about the area, ignoring red lights and eventually hitting another vehicle after running a stop sign. In that vehicle was a family… the mother was killed but the father and children survived with injuries. After fleeing on foot — perhaps too modest to accept the accolades for his murderous feat — he was eventually caught. So, here’s to you, Señor Dominguez! You can’t run from the cops — and you can’t escape the notice of our Award Committee! You represent much of why we value Illegal Aliens in America! Congratulations!

Burlington Man Charged After Fatal Crash Is Illegal Immigrant

Daily DUI

DUI with flair!

If there is one thing at which Illegals truly excel, it would have to be Driving Under the Influence. I could easily have called this site “Illegal Alien Drunk Driver of the Day,” that’s how far they have advanced in the field of drinking and driving. You see, being a happy, celebratory lot, Illegals are often feeling the effects of an intoxicant. IAotD Juan Quintero, for example, was under the influence of alcohol when the stolen car he was driving without a license careened into a bus full of children, flipped into the air, and landed on top of Zachary Yates’ car, killing him (Yates that is, not Quintero). So, Congratulations and “hola” Señor Quintero! I’m giving you major points for style!

Illegal Immigrant Charged With DUI in Fatal Del. Crash

Honorary Illegal Alien Award!

Gracias, Señor Moran!

Today is very special. Today, we do not honor an Illegal Alien, but an American without whose tireless efforts on the Immigration issue Isaias Naranjo might not even be in the country. Isaias Naranjo, you see, is the suspected Illegal whose car hit that of our award-winner, State Representative Mike Moran (D – MA). Mike Moran is the guy who loves Illegals so much, he even voted for them to get in-state tuition! It was a match made in heaven.

Some of you may ask, “why not give the award to Mr. Naranjo? Doesn’t he deserve it?” In a word, no. You see, we don’t know for sure he’s in the US illegally, even though he laughed as the police pulled him from the car and said “I’m going to go back to my country [Mexico], … nothing is going to happen to me, man.” No, despite all the evidence, Massachusetts authorities are forbidden to inquire into a person’s immigration status, because of an order by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick  — an order, not coincidentally, that Mike approves of. Since we have no way of officially knowing if Naranjo is in the US illegally,  we just can’t give him the prize.

What we can do, however, is present an Honorary Illegal Alien of the Day award to the guy who makes it possible everyone to have accidents like his: MA State Rep. Mike Moran! We’re glad to see you haven’t changed your opinion on Illegals because of your injuries, Mr. Moran! There’s still plenty of families and children out there who haven’t yet had the pleasure of meeting someone like Mr. Naranjo, but due to your tireless efforts, perhaps they will! Congratulations, and keep up the good work!

Illegal injures state rep in Mass, laughs that ‘nothing is going to happen to me’

Rep. Moran Back to Work After Being Rear-Ended by Alleged Drunken Driver