You know, for what began as a thrilling season of Drunk Driving (the Official Sport of Illegal Aliens), the playoffs have been pretty poor. My sports editor has been arguing with me from the beginning that a bracket-system cannot work since — to get a spot — one must be arrested first as proof of the accomplishment. My counter-argument was that we’d surely put them back out on the streets; no one wants to decrease diversity in an area by locking away their most colorful inhabitants!
Well, turns out he was right and I was wrong. So now I owe him lunch at Pizza Tyrant. Smug little SOB.
The good news is that despite any unfortunate rules I may have implemented, the Sport of Sorts goes on for 2010! Behold Luis Gonzalez-Diaz! Luis is another passenger-killer, which scores much lower than mangling an innocent bystander… but he also picked up points for being on cocaine (the “Scarface” rule)!
Congratulations, Señor Gonzalez-Diaz on your spot in the finals, and on being our Illegal Alien of the day! And about those finals… I’m really sorry if they never take place. We’ll revamp the rules for next year. Promise.
Illegal Alien of the Day! 