Downloading A Dream Date

October 21, 2010

Luis gets arrested for looking at child porn pics, yet this kid's parents roam free. Justice? I think not.

We all know that Illegal Aliens can’t resist an open wi-fi connection, so it’s really the fault of Luis Rosas’ neighbor that Luis was able to download child pornography at all. If not for that stupid neighbor’s utter lack of network security, Señor Rosas would be skulking about our country drinking, driving and deflowering. Instead, due almost entirely to the fact that he had an unsecured Internet connection at his disposal, he surfed and (probably) accidentally downloaded pictures of naked children engaging in sex acts. He probably didn’t even enjoy looking at them… it was the simply thrill of the open wi-fi hotspot!

Well, congratulations, Luis Rosas! You’re our Illegal Alien of the Day! And here’s a heads’ up Luis… the prison’s Internet filter will be much more restrictive than you’re used to. Most of the kids you’ll find online will be clothed, but try a search for “child beauty pageants” and you might find a little something-something to get you going!


Accuracy in Reporting?

June 15, 2010

"I am thrilled to be today's Illegal Alien. Just don't tell my neighbors"

Once again, the media is up to their old tricks. Once again, an Illegal is captured in a kiddie-porn sting, and they refuse to give credit where credit is due! Neither of these articles say anything about Edgar Zarate’s nationality or citizenship status! Those fools could have cost Edgar the prestigious Illegal Alien of the Day award! Luckily, one of the columns mentions an “Immigration and Customs Enforcement Detainer” for Señor Zarate, filling in that vital piece of the puzzle: here is yet another fine traveller to our land who has contributed to the tapestry that is American society! Three cheers for Edgar, NAMBLA poster-boy and our IAotD!

Police Locate Child Porn Suspect

Lovington Man Arrested on Child Pornography Charges


Lights! Camera! Pedophilia!

June 10, 2010

"We're rolling, Mr. Quintanilla-Leon"

Illegal Alien Maynor Quintanilla-Leon simply wanted to make a movie. He wished to combine his passion for cinema with his overtly-sexual love of little boys in a shimmering musical gala… but it was not to be. After shooting only basic footage of him molesting the child, the project was abruptly brought to an end by law enforcement. Sorry, Maynor. You might not be up for that Academy Awardtm, but you’re Best Director to us! “Hola,” thank you, and congratulations, Señor Quintanilla-Leon! You’re our Illegal Alien of the Day!

Illegal Alien Sexually Assaults Six-Year-Old Boy in Kiddie Porn Film


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